You will just stay in the dark

I have been thinking about ways to combat my infertility. I can come up with 10 solutions on my own, but the real job lies within my body. I wonder which ones will work and which ones will not. If they just did a Vegas wedding style IVF I would be ecstatic, but they don't and Im not. I've been reading these infertility blogs and they make me feel worse about myself and how is that when they are supposed to offer comfort? I hope one of my own concoctions work. This whole trying to conceive era paints a vision into my head. Im at home with my face pressed against the window pane and Im staring at a train as it goes speeding by. I do not bother to come out of the house to try to catch it, instead I choose to watch it pass. Anywho, I have been talking to TLW about the reality: "What if we(I) can not have kids?" His words make me feel a little better. Then I say I dont feel comfortable talking about this anymore. TLW say; "Well, you brought it up!" The first thing that pops into my head is "How dare you!" He wants me to open up about infertility how can I when he gives me asshole remarks? Then later on I find out he did not like talking about it either. Im like all you had to say was it makes me feel the same way instead he became an asshole. Im just going to keep talking to my best friend about these issues and keep hubs in the dark.